You Got Unhinged Do It Again

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Girl Lookout man: Is this made from real lemons?

Midweek: Yes.

Girl Scout: I just like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you certain they're existent lemons?

Pugsley: Yeah.

Girl Lookout: Well, I'll tell y'all what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Daughter Spotter cookies. Do nosotros have a bargain?

Wednesday: Are they made from existent Girl Scouts?

Wednesday: I'm a homicidal maniac, they look but like everyone else.

[Wednesday is hooking up an electric chair]

Midweek: Pugsley, sit in the chair.

Pugsley: Why?

Wed: So nosotros can play a game.

Pugsley: What game?

Wednesday: [strapping him in] Information technology's chosen, "Is There a God?"

Gomez: [virtually Morticia] I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.

Gomez: How long has it been since we've waltzed?

Morticia: Oh, Gomez... hours.

Morticia: And our credo: "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc." "We gladly feast on those who would subdue united states." Not just pretty words.

Morticia: Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That'due south my task.

Morticia: When nosotros first met years ago, it was an evening much like this. Magic in the air. A male child.

Gomez: A girl.

Morticia: An open grave. It was my kickoff funeral.

Gomez: You were so beautiful. Stake and mysterious. No one even looked at the corpse.

Gomez: To live without y'all, only that would be torture.

Morticia: A day alone, simply that would be death.

[Looking for something in a wardrobe]

Morticia: "Uncle Niknak'southward wintertime wardrobe." "Uncle Niknak'south summer wardrobe." "Uncle Niknak."

Gomez: We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled, nosotros danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. Nosotros danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you.

Gomez: Expect at her. I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.

Gomez: [Morticia wakes upward] Unhappy, darling?

Morticia: Oh, yeah. Yes completely.

[Gomez sits]

Morticia: Gomez... Dominicus. Il me perce comme un poignard.

Gomez: Oh, Tish. That's French.

Morticia: Oui.

Gomez: Cara mia.

[kisses Morticia's hand]

Gomez: En garde, Monsieur Soleil!

Morticia: Gomez...

Gomez: Querida?

Morticia: Last night, you were unhinged. Y'all were similar some drastic howling demon. Yous frightened me. Do it over again.

Wednesday: Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle, non even for a vacation. Everyone knows that.

Dr. Pinderschloss: Oh, my little bundle. And then much you don't empathise. The man spirit, it is a difficult thing to kill.

Grandmama: Even with a chainsaw.

Morticia: Margaret?

Margaret: Hmm?

Morticia: About the séance tonight, I wish you'd come. Information technology's Gomez I'grand terribly worried nigh. He won't eat, he can't sleep, he keeps cough upwardly blood.

Margaret: He coughs upwardly blood?

Morticia: Well, not similar he used to...

Judge: [at the auction] This magnificent piece is encrusted with rubies and fifteen emerald chips. Information technology was donated by Morticia and Gomez... Addams. Remember, this year, over one-half our gain will do good the elderly and the mentally disabled.

[Gomez and Morticia await fondly at Grandmama]

Judge: I'll open the bidding at $5000

Gomez: 5, hah! Not good enough. $25,000!

Margaret: [frantic] What are they *doing*?

Judge: I accept twenty.

Gomez: 20-five!

[to Morticia]

Gomez: Cara mia?

Judge: Twenty-five.

Morticia: Thirty.

[to Gomez]

Morticia: Monday sauvage.

Gomez: [voice cracks] Thirty-v!

[to Morticia]

Gomez: Eres divina.

Morticia: Mm, fifty!

Judge: I accept $50,000.

Morticia: [to Gomez] Your turn, my ecstasy.

Judge: 50 thousand going once, l thousand going twice. Sold to Morticia Addams for 50... thousand... dollars.

[looks disgusted equally Gomez and Morticia do something obscene]

Margaret: [Questioning the absenteeism of a Halloween costume] What are you, darling? Where's your costume?

Wednesday: This is my costume. I'm a homicidal bedlamite. They look just like everybody else.

Sally Jessy Raphael: So, you claim that your son was brainwashed by voodoo witch doctors and forced to recruit others? Permit's take a call.

Gomez: Hello, Emerge?

Sally Jessy Raphael: Mr. Addams, *delight* stop calling! We do not know where they meet!

[performing abridged "Hamlet" in schoolhouse play; sword fighting]

Wednesday: How all occasions do inform against me and spur my slow revenge. O, from this fourth dimension forth, my thoughts exist bloody or nothing worth. If I must strike you expressionless, I will.

Pugsley: [slashes Wednesday's left wrist; claret sprays out] A striking! A very palpable hit!

[Wednesday cuts of Pugsley's arm, Pugsley slashes her throat; there is lots of blood spraying everywhere, getting the front end rows]

Wed: O, Proud Decease. What feast is toward in thine eternal cell?

[drops both swords and falls to her knees]

Wednesday: Sweet Oblivion, open up your arms!

[choking and gasping for breath, collapses, and dies]

Wednesday: [the audition sits aghast in stunned silence, covered with blood while the Addams give a continuing ovation]

Gomez: Bravo!

Morticia: Bravo!

Gomez: Bravo! Bravo!

Gomez: [watching dwelling movies] Call back that fateful night?

Uncle Fester: Of course... Your kickoff cigar!

Gomez: What? Come on, Old Human, I've smoked since I was five. Mother insisted.

[examining a rare, valuable heirloom Morticia is most to donate to charity]

Grandmama: Let'southward go on it!

Morticia: Hush, Mama! It's for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.

Gomez: [to his family unit] They say a man who represents himself has a fool for a client. Well, with God as my witness, I am that fool!

Gauge: [after a golf ball is hit through his window] Damn y'all, Addams!

Gomez: Distressing about the window, Judge. Keep the ball, I have a whole bucket full.

Guess: You moron!

Gomez: [equally he helps Morticia out of a trap] Leather straps, scarlet-hot pokers!

Morticia: Afterwards, my dearest.

[Gordon, Craven and Tully keep trying to open up the Addams Family Vault. For the umpteenth time, the firm'southward booby traps dump them outside the house]

Abigail Craven: Yous are doing this on purpose!

Uncle Fester: [sarcastic] That's right, Mother, isn't this fun!

Tully Alfford: I'll race you back.

[Pugsley is strapped in the electric chair]

Wednesday: [Cranking the switches] It has to warm upward.

Pugsley: Why?

Wednesday: So it can impale you.

Pugsley: I knew that.

Margaret: You are too precious for words, why, I could but... eat you live!

Morticia: Oh no, Margaret! Too young!

Gomez: Think of it, Thing. For 25 years we've attempted to contact Fester in the neat beyond, and for 25 years, nothing. I'm offset to retrieve my brother truly is lost.

Morticia: [to Thing] Thing, you're a handful.

Dr. Pinderschloss: Beloved/hate, detest/honey. Like for Mama, no?

Gomez: But I didn't hate my mother. It was an accident!

[to Pugsley, who is tied upwardly, mumbling urgently effectually an apple in his mouth]

Wed: Don't exist a babe. I know what I'1000 doing.

[she levels a crossbow]

Morticia: [to Tully, as he is torturing her] You lot've done this before.

Gomez: [as they search for Wednesday] Fan out. Pugsley, head for the dung heap. Mama and Morticia, the shallow graves. I'll take the abyss. Lurch, check out the bottomless pit. Fester?

Uncle Fester: [from a window] Up hither!

Gomez: [shouting upwardly to him] Fester, you take the ravine, and the unmarked, abandoned well!

Uncle Fester: Somebody should stay backside in case she comes back.

Gomez: Skilful human. Good thinking!

Grandmama: Then who'll take the swamp?

Gomez: [Thing taps Gomez's shoe] That'south the spirit, Thing. Lend a hand. Let'southward go!

Margaret: Everyone keeps asking where he bought his costume.

Gomez: It is a wonderful hat.

Grandmama: [to the family] Dinner's gonna be belatedly.

[goes outside]

Grandmama: Here, boy! Here, boy!

Gomez: [after landing on a dock] Scent that air, Fester! Like a tomb.

Dr. Pinderschloss: [after the political party in Fester'due south honour] Gordon, I don't empathize this. Let me get this clear. Have y'all been having a good fourth dimension?

Uncle Fester: [jubilant] Yes, I have! It was marvelous. I sang upwards a storm! And I danced 'till I dropped! The Mamushka!

Dr. Pinderschloss: Keep the book closed, Gordon. Listen to Mother!

Uncle Fester: I'll never listen to you, never, ever again!

Dr. Pinderschloss: I had to be strict with you because I cared! Put it downward!

Uncle Fester: You lot never really loved me!

Gomez: Fester, this way!

Dr. Pinderschloss: End whining, you petty adept-for-goose egg! Be a man!

Uncle Fester: You were a terrible mother! There! I said information technology!

[Fester opens the book, and a hurricane is unleashed inside the house, causing Tully and Dr. Pinderschloss to launch out the window]

Gomez: [to Fester] Aha! Showtime!

Gomez: [to Fester] Two, ten, eleven. Eyes, fingers, toes!

[Thing is gesturing wildly]

Gomez: Mor... Morticia... Morticia? Morticia what? Tiresome down! It'south terrible when you stutter!

[Thing gropes effectually, finds a pen, and starts to write, but it's out of ink. Groping effectually over again, Thing overturns a bowl of cereal, grabs the spoon, and starts borer in Morse Code]

Gomez: Morticia... in... danger... stop. Transport... help... at in one case... STOP!

[Gomez stands and runs out. Thing collapses]

[to Gomez, watching Pugsley sleep]

Morticia: It's and so sweet. He looks just similar a little entrée.

Gomez: [to Morticia] You lot bugged me. I proposed that very night.

Gomez: [to Fester] Good show, former homo.

Gomez: [Playing with the train prepare, ranting about Fester's finger-trap] "How exercise you take it off?" That's absurd! That finger-trap was a party favor at his 10th birthday!

Morticia: [In the room below, Morticia is reading a bedtime story to Wednesday and Pugsley. She looks up at the racket] Oh, no.

Pugsley: Male parent's playing with his trains.

Gomez: He wore that finger-trap for two years! Mother had to teach him to swallow with his feet! And the combination! AND the password! And my cigar! And he slept so well!

[Thing bangs his fist equally Gomez speeds up the trains]

Pugsley: He's using the diesel!

Wednesday: [Looking horrified, equally the train approaches a span] The covered bridge!

Morticia: [Horrified, as the train runs through a ravine] Dead Human being's Bend!

[Grandmama looks up exasperatedly then continues read Gray's Anatomy. Lurch looks up as he darns his socks. A man on the railroad train looks upwardly every bit Gomez laughs maniacally]

Wednesday: It's all about Uncle Fester, isn't it?

Morticia: [Looks upwards every bit Fester passes through a pipage. Her eyes narrow]

[as the trains approach each other]

Gomez: Spirits in a higher place me... Give me a sign! Shall I be joyous? Or shall I be damned?

[Trains collide and explode in forepart of Gomez's face]

Gomez: [he has thrown a sword and pierced the wall not two inches from Tully's head] Ah, missed!

Morticia: Gomez, why don't nosotros go for a drive? The whole family.

Gomez: A drive? And miss Gilligan?

Morticia: Why don't y'all speak to Fester, darling? He'due south right outside the door.

Gomez: I would speak with Fester if that *were* Fester. But that is *not*! That is an *impostor*! An IMPOSTORE!

Morticia: [to Thing] There information technology is. Just what we've been searching for. Thank you, Matter.

Morticia: [to Wednesday and Pugsley at the séance] Children, we're starting. Put downwards that antenna.

Morticia: [to Pugsley and Wed] Dead Human being'south Curve.

Halloween Children: Trick or...

[they see Lurch and scream]

Gomez: [sees Flora and Fauna] I'm blinded by such beauty.

Uncle Fester: [beingness atoning to his "mother"] It was only a party. Information technology'south over. Information technology ways zippo. The Siamese twins, the hunchback, Cousin Itt, they're not *you*.

Morticia: [to Flora and Fauna] Flora, Fauna, how tin can I compete? Y'all're twice the woman I am.

Abigail Chicken: They're not your family, I am. They don't dear you, I do. They're evil, and decadent, and degraded. I can requite y'all that!

[repeated line]

Lurch: Uh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-uh!

Gomez: [to Therapist] I didn't hate my female parent. It was an accident!

[Fester, who sits with his "female parent" for a bowl of soup and sandwiches at the mansion, is depressed that he only lost his family as the result of Tully'south actions]

Dr. Pinderschloss: Afterwards lunch, nosotros'll endeavor again.

Uncle Fester: [in a very flat tone, equally he digs in his soup] Yes mother.

Dr. Pinderschloss: [innocently] We'll observe the money. And meanwhile, we have this picayune nest, quiet and cozy without that dreadful family unit.

Uncle Fester: [again in a very flat tone] Yes mother.

Uncle Fester: [kicks the door, barging in the sleeping room with Dr. Pinder, continually singing the Mamushka song] Hey! Hey! Hey!

Dr. Pinderschloss: [Fester grabs her mitt, simply the medico lets go and begs him to stop] Gordon? End! Finish it, this instant! Is that lipstick all over your face?

Uncle Fester: From the twins! The beautiest, and adoring twins!

Dr. Pinderschloss: The twins? Gordon, I don't sympathise but permit me get this clear, accept y'all been having a proficient time?

Uncle Fester: [happily] Yep! I have! It was marvelous! I sang upwardly a storm and danced until I dropped! Mamushka! And a hey, and a hey, and a hey, and a hey

[kicks the door, then stops doing the trip the light fantastic]

Uncle Fester: Mother?

Dr. Pinderschloss: Mother. Female parent? Who'southward that? I don't think I recall.

Uncle Fester: Mother, please.

Dr. Pinderschloss: I'k just fine. I'm dandy. Don't business yourself about me, Gordon. Delight, return to your depraved orgy. Sometimes I retrieve you're not fifty-fifty my son.

Uncle Fester: [sadly] Don't say that!

Dr. Pinderschloss: I'yard just your mother. Y'all just owe me your unabridged existence on this planet. Delight, Gordon, by all means, go sing, trip the light fantastic toe, date!

Uncle Fester: Oh Mother... .I'm then terribly sorry. It was merely a political party. Information technology's over. It ways nothing. The Siamese Twins, the Hunchback, Cousin Itt, they're not you.

Dr. Pinderschloss: [puts her hands asie Gordon'due south head] Say it, Gordon, brand me believe it.

Uncle Fester: I dearest you lot, and I want money!

Dr. Pinderschloss: [Fester falls down off the bed] We've got to find Tully.

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101272/quotes/qt0474544

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